


Feelings Are Inconvenient (But Necessary)

by WednesdayTheWriter



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Comforting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Gets a Hug (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Needs a Hug (Good Omens), Crowley Whump (Good Omens), Crowley has Trauma from the Fall (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Crying Crowley (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hugs, Hurt Crowley, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Themes, Other, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Sleepy Cuddles, Sobbing, The Night At Crowley's Flat (Good Omens), Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 10:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30020355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WednesdayTheWriter/pseuds/WednesdayTheWriter
Summary: After almost-geddon, Aziraphale decides to come with Crowley back to his flat. On the way there, Crowley Feels Feelings when they meet a lesbian couple on the bus, one of whom was kicked out of their home.When they get to Crowley’s flat, the Feelings that are being Felt finally have words put to them.In other words: Emotions are Very Inconvenient, but sometimes they’re necessary.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Feelings Are Inconvenient (But Necessary)

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains mentions of someone being kicked out of their home for being lesbian. Please take care of yourself and skip this fic if that’s triggering for you. <3

“So,” Crowley as he sat next to Aziraphale on the bus.

“So,” said Aziraphale.

“Would... would you? Like to?” asked Crowley awkwardly. 

“Hm?”

“Stay. My place.”

“Oh.” Aziraphale paused. He knew he should say no. He knew it wasn’t right. 

“You can... you can say no,” said Crowley. 

“Yes,” said Aziraphale finally.

“Wh... really?”

“Yes. It’s only fair. We need to come up with something to keep Heaven and Hell from, er... you know.”

Oh. 

Crowley sighed and nodded. He was glad Aziraphale had agreed to stay, but he wished that he was staying for a different reason. No, that’s stupid, he thought. What other reason is there? To spend time with someone like me?

“Also,” Aziraphale continued, “I won’t protest against being able to be with you. After all, they can’t get more angry with us then they already are,” he said with a laugh that sounded a bit too hollow for Crowley’s liking.

Nevertheless, Crowley cracked a small smile. 

“Is that so?” asked the demon, trying to hide the rush of Those Annoying Feelings in his chest.

“Of course,” said Aziraphale. “They’re already mad at us, so-“

“No, I mean... you want to come with me?”

“Oh! Of course I do,” said Aziraphale. He laughed again, and this one sounded more real. “Of course I do,” he repeated softly.

“Ah.” 

They sat in silence for a minute, lost in their own thoughts. Just do it, you coward, thought Crowley to himself. 

But Aziraphale did it first.

He reached over, gently touching Crowley’s hand. Crowley startled, staring at the angel through his dark sunglasses.

“Is this okay?” asked Aziraphale as he slipped Crowley’s hand into his own. 

“...Yeah,” said Crowley, unable to produce any other words. Aziraphale gently stroked the back of Crowley’s hand with his thumb, smiling.

“You know,” Aziraphale finally said, “after all of this is over... assuming there is an ‘over...’ we won’t have to worry about... them anymore.” He glanced up and then down, and Crowley knew exactly what he meant.

“Yeah. We could... I dunno. Be...” he glanced over at a pair of humans on the other side of the bus. They’d just gotten on, and they were holding hands and laughing. 

“Yes,” said Aziraphale, also looking at the humans. They were both young women, and they were now staring at each other fondly, a giggle occasionally escaping their lips. One of them looked over at Crowley and Aziraphale and grinned.

“Hey,” she said, glancing at their interlocked hands, then back up at them.

“Hello!” said Aziraphale cheerfully.

“Sorry if we’re... interrupting something,” said the other young woman, giggling. 

Crowley felt his ears turn red.

“Oh! Not to worry, you aren’t,” said Aziraphale. “So where are you two off to today?”

“Well, er...” one of the girls said.

“Uh...” said the other.

Suddenly, Aziraphale felt a wave of sadness pass over him. It wasn’t his own, it was from one of the girls. It was something he’d felt before for someone else, but he couldn’t put his finger on who. It was a particular type of sadness, like being cast out.

“I... I got kicked out a couple of days ago,” said the girl closest to Aziraphale. Her mood had changed rapidly from being happy to being sad, as though her happiness had been a mask. 

Crowley’s eyes snapped open.

“Oh dear...” said Aziraphale. 

“Sorry,” said the girl. Her partner looked at her with sad eyes. “Shouldn’t dump this on a stranger.” She laughed, a sad, wet laugh. 

“Do you need anything?” asked Aziraphale, looking at them with kind eyes. “Anything at all?”

“Well, er...”

“She’s staying with me,” said the other girl. “I guess the only thing we’re having trouble with right now is... er...”

“Yes?” asked Aziraphale lightly.

“Money,” mumbled the first girl. “‘M parents weren’t exactly ready to take on another child. S’not like they don’t have money, they just aren’t really willing to...” she glanced at the other girl. “I’m sure we’ll be fine, though.” Something about the uncertainty in the girl’s voice made Aziraphale deeply sad for her.

Crowley abruptly stood up, sighing. He pulled something out of his pocket. Aziraphale’s eyes widened as he realized what it was. He must have materialized it out of thin air, which was not something he normally did.

“Just take it,” grumbled the demon. 

In his hand were five twenty-dollar bills.

“Wh...what?!” the girl stared at him in disbelief.

“Just. Take it.”

“I... how can I ever thank...”

Crowley just pushed the money into the girls hands, and a small gasp of surprise escaped her, and her eyes began to water. 

“But why...?”

Crowley shrugged. “Seen my fair share of abandonment. Don’t want you to go through the same thing. S’not fun.”

Aziraphale gaped at Crowley as he sat back down, looking out the window. 

“H... here’s my shop’s number, if you ever need anything,” said Aziraphale, struggling to speak. He shouldn’t be surprised, but literally everything about that encounter shocked him. He handed the girls a business card from his pocket. He’d never used his business cards before, as he didn’t particularly fancy having customers.

“Thank you,” said one of the girls.

“Thank you so much,” said the other. 

The bus dinged as it stopped, and the girls got out, smiling once again. Aziraphale glanced around to see that it was otherwise empty. 

“What was- why... what...” said Aziraphale. 

Crowley didn’t respond. 

Aziraphale slipped his hand back into the demon’s, giving it a gentle squeeze. He realized, with a startle, that Crowley was shaking slightly.

“Are you alright?”

The three words hit Crowley like a ton of bricks. 

Say yes.

Say yes.

Say yes.

The words chorused in his head as he stared out the window, getting louder and louder.

“No.” 

He resisted the urge to clap his hand over his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say that.

“Oh...” said Aziraphale. 

“Nothing you need to worry about, Angel,” he said quickly.

“That’s not true,” said Aziraphale. “Of course it’s something I need to worry about. You’re hurting, Crowley.”

“...What?”

“I can feel it,” said Aziraphale. “I can tell.”

The truth was that Aziraphale wasn’t using any sort of angelic powers to tell that Crowley was hurting. He just knew. And he wanted to fix it.

“Just... reminded me of something, that’s all,” said Crowley. “It’s stupid, really.”

“It’s not stupid,” said Aziraphale as he wracked his brain for what Crowley could be upset about. “It’s just... oh.”

“I got kicked out a couple of days ago.”

Kicked out.

Aziraphale drew in a sharp, shaky breath as he realized why Crowley had been so bothered. And why he’d been so generous. 

Kicked out.

I got kicked out.

“Oh, Crowley,” said Aziraphale, giving his hand another squeeze.

“Sorry,” mumbled Crowley.

“Nothing to be sorry for, dear boy.”

Crowley was silent for a moment.

“For loving each other,” he finally said. “She got kicked out because of love.” His voice was hoarse and cracking as he looked out the window. 

Aziraphale was about to say something, but just then, the bus came to a stop and dinged. He helped Crowley up, not dropping his hand. 

“Let’s get you inside,” said Aziraphale. They walked slowly down the street and to Crowley’s flat, Crowley refusing to make eye contact. 

It wasn’t until they were inside and both sitting down that Crowley finally spoke. 

“I thought I’d lost you, you know.”

Crowley was sitting the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He was trying (and failing) to look nonchalant. Aziraphale was sitting next to him. 

“What?”

“I thought. I thought I’d lost you.” Crowley’s breath caught in his throat halfway through the sentence and he practically choked out the rest of the words. 

“Oh, dear, why would you think that?”

“The bookshop. Was on fire. I went in and you weren’t there and I didn’t know if it was hellfire or if you’d been discorporated and you weren’t coming back because they were going to kill you and...” Crowley cut off abruptly, looking away. 

“Oh, dear boy.” Aziraphale squeezed Crowley’s hand tighter in his own. “I would never... I would never leave you. Here, look at me. That’s right, look at me...”

Crowley slowly turned his head, and Aziraphale gasped as he saw tears through Crowley’s dark sunglasses, threatening to spill over at any moment. 

“Oh, dear... here, take these silly things off...” he reached for Crowley’s sunglasses. Crowley opened his mouth to protest, but he couldn’t. He just squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to look at Aziraphale or acknowledge the tears that wanted so badly to spill out of his eyes.

“Oh dear, oh dear. Look at me.” 

Crowley slowly opened his eyes. Aziraphale was there, sitting right next to him. He looked up at Crowley with those big eyes he liked to use against him, and suddenly Crowley couldn’t take it anymore. Every emotion he’d felt in the past 6,000 years came crashing into him, not one at a time, but all at once. He buried his face in his hands, choked sobs beginning to wrack his body.

“Oh... oh, dear, don’t...” Aziraphale put a gentle hand on Crowley’s shoulder. Crowley didn’t look up. “It’s alright...” said Aziraphale. “I’m here. Is it alright if I give you a hug?” 

Crowley sobbed louder, but he nodded slightly. 

“Alright, come here.” Aziraphale put his arms around the demon, using his hand to gently guide Crowley’s head towards him. Crowley buried his face in Aziraphale’s jacket, still sobbing. Aziraphale only made out two words between Crowley’s sobs, but he understood them perfectly.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no... shh, don’t apologize,” said Aziraphale softly. He put his hand on Crowley’s back and gently rubbed in circles, making small shushing noises as he held Crowley to his chest. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

“Gh- nhh-“ said Crowley. 

After about twenty minutes of straight sobbing, Crowley began to stop. He was still breathing irregularly, and there were still tears, but he wasn’t sobbing anymore. He looked up at Aziraphale. The whites of his eyes were almost completely yellow, and his pupils were tiny slits. Aziraphale hugged him tighter.

“How could someone... how could someone be so stupid... to kick your own child out because... because...” 

“I know,” said Aziraphale. “I know.” It was that moment that Aziraphale realized exactly how much pain Crowley was in. He’d thought he’d lost Aziraphale, and then to be reminded of... that... “I’m so sorry.”

“‘S... ‘s alright, Angel,” said Crowley, the tears beginning to clear out of his eyes. “‘M alright.”

Aziraphale didn’t respond. Instead, he simply held Crowley tighter.

“We... we need to do something,” said Crowley. “They’re gonna try to kill us.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” The words came out slightly more sarcastic than Aziraphale had intended, but Crowley didn’t seem to mind. “I did have a small idea, but... I’m not sure.” 

“Gh... hm?” 

“Well, in the book, it says to choose our faces wisely, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What if they meant it literally?”

“...Whah?”

“What if we disguise ourselves? They couldn’t possibly get us then,” said Aziraphale.

“As what, humans? They’d surely figure that out,” said Crowley, wiping his eyes.

“Yeah...” said Aziraphale, trailing off. 

“Aziraphale,” said Crowley suddenly. “Where does it say that demons can’t inhabit an angel’s body? Or the other way around?”

“What?!”

“Where. Where does it say that.”

“Nowhere? It’s just common sense!” 

“How?”

“Well...” Aziraphale faltered. “I guess... I guess maybe...”

“What if we switched bodies? They’d try to kill us with hellfire and holy water, right? But then they’d get it backwards, and we’d be alright.”

“Oh... Oh! That... that might just work!” said Aziraphale.

“Are they stupid enough for that, though...?” asked Crowley.

“Yes. Or at least, Heaven is. I dunno about Hell.”

“Oh, definitely. They’re all idiots.”

“But is it safe?” asked Aziraphale. “I don’t... I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” said Crowley, a lot more confidently than he felt. 

“If you really want to try it,” said Aziraphale, “we should do it now. That way we can get used to... you know. Being in each other’s bodies.”

The sentence was so ridiculous, Crowley couldn’t help but laugh. He stood up. Aziraphale stood up too. And suddenly, they were holding hands again. Crowley closed his eyes, imagining Aziraphale’s corporation. Aziraphale did the same, imagining Crowley’s. There was a noise, and suddenly, Crowley wasn’t Crowley and Aziraphale wasn’t Aziraphale. 

“This is weird,” said Crowley, but his voice came out sounding like Aziraphale’s.

“It is,” said Aziraphale, his voice sounding like Crowley’s. Although, Crowley noticed, it was a bit softer. “Very, very strange.”

Crowley felt like he was somehow invading Aziraphale’s privacy by being in his body. He shuffled back and forth awkwardly. “...We can probably switch back. Now that we know that it works.”

“But you just said-“

“I know what I said, but we know it works now, so we can switch. It’s fine, Angel, they won’t come for us here,” Crowley added as he saw the nervous look on Aziraphale’s face-that-was-actually-Crowley’s-face. 

“But what if they do?”

“Then we’ll hear them.”

“...Alright.”

They reached out and touched hands again, and the noise was back. Crowley was Crowley, and Aziraphale was Aziraphale.

“Well, then, we have our plan,” said Crowley.

“Yes,” said Aziraphale.

They stood there awkwardly in silence for a moment, neither of them able to bring themselves to break it.

Finally, Crowley spoke. His voice was nervous, unsure.

“Do you... do you sleep?”

Aziraphale shook his head. “Not usually. Although...” he sighed, closing his eyes. “I don’t know.”

“You’re tired,” observed Crowley.

“A bit.”

“Well, come on, then,” Crowley said, yawning. He lead Aziraphale to his room, gesturing to the bed.

“Oh... you’re... you’re sure?” asked Aziraphale uncertainly.

“Well, I’m not sleeping on the couch, and I don’t think you’re staying there either,” said Crowley. “C’mon, I’m tired.”

Aziraphale hesitantly sat down on the bed with his back against the wall, and immediately felt a wave of exhaustion overcome him. He hadn’t really been planning to sleep, but now that he was here...

“You alright?” asked Crowley, plopping down onto the bed next to Aziraphale.

“Yes,” said Aziraphale. “I’m alright.”

Crowley nodded sleepily, suddenly looking more tired.

“Night, Angel,” he said quietly.

“Goodnight, Crowley,” said Aziraphale.

Crowley closed his eyes and slowly slid sideways until he was leaning on Aziraphale’s shoulder. Aziraphale smiled slightly, feeling the demon’s presence around him. He experimentally put a careful hand on Crowley’s head, touching his fire-red hair. Crowley moved slightly closer to him, twitching slightly as he slept. Aziraphale ran his fingers through Crowley’s hair, and a small smile flitted across Crowley’s face. 

In that moment, time seemed to stop. Everything was perfect as Aziraphale closed his eyes, leaning his head against Crowley’s. He closed his eyes, and he dreamed of what he liked best.


End file.
